ANY TIME - MONEY?!

Saturday is one of the days when one can catch up with the neighbourhood banker. In the hustle of this Saturday, I had chosen to use the hi tech ATM to withdraw the cash. Inserting the card, into the slot, I thoughtfully waited for the message on the screen. The PIN having been punched and the amount keyed into the system, I placed my hand to receive the cash. Instead the screen flashed that due to a technical error the amount to be drawn was only Rs 4000/-. This had been my experience for the past few months, I thought that I should make the authorities know of the continuing fault.

Having made note of the toll free number, I made a call to register a memorable conversation. The voice at the other end greeted me courteously and asked whether he could be of any help to me. Delighted at the obliging attitude in the most selfish world, I narrated the happenings at the ATM. I was cordially told that this call pertained to another division and was asked whether I would mind being on hold. Civil society needs to learn from these souls a lesson or two in polite behaviour. By the way I thought I should probably tune my own behaviour too. As my thought so meanedered its way, the music on the line went through its motions and soon I heard an apologetic tone expressing sincere regret for the delay and enquired about the issue faced by me. Again I made a mental note, issue is any time a better word than a problem.

Brushing aside the problem, I narrated the issue on hand. I was promptly asked the details of tha ATM, my account number, my mother's name as a security question and the voice at the other end told me approvingly, "Sir, you seem to have got into the habit of withdrawing only Rs 4000 at a time." I reiterated the issue. I was helpfully asked whether I had tried any other ATM. Replying in the affirmative, I gave details of the ATM s where I had faced the same "issue". I was told very regretfully, " Sir, this matter then would have to be taken up with your branch manager. Thank you for calling us. Could I help you in any other matter?" As i "but" ted, the voice told me clearly that in this matter the road's end had been reached and thanked me for using the services. The call was ended on most polite terms on a firm note. Obviously, the person at the other end had better wofk than listening to a whining old fool making a mountain out of a molehill.

However, pleased with the etiquette of the bankers, I would have miserably failed the young voice at the other end of the wire if I did not heed to the instuctions. Setting aside the priorities of the day, I made my way to the bank branch where I hold my acccount. Striding into the bank I noticed a sea change in the affairs. A huge billboard proclaimed the ease in the use of ATM. debit cards, NEFT, RTGS, internet banking etc. Another beautifully engraved board requested customers to use the ATM for transactions upto Rs 25000/-. This reminded me of the purpose of my visit. Looking around I found the office of the AGM, the branch manager empty. I was informed that they were busy helping the staff in sorting some "issues". Looking around I heaved a sigh of relief on not finding any kids. Otherwise sorting issues could mean sorting out of triplets or quadruplets or quintuplets etc. May be he was sorting the bigger issues (pun intended!!!)

After a wait I found a much harried branch manager resuming her seat. I was in a dilemma as to whether I should be adding to her woes. But could I fail that young voice on the wire which reminded me of etiquette which was taught at my mother's kneee. Gathering myself, I made a brave surge into her presence and announced for her audience. With a disgusting look she inquired " what is your problem?" Hurray, I had found another of my breed and vibing with people of the same wavelength is always easier. Therefore, I made a light mention of the problem with a heavy dosage of praise for the worthies on the wire. Instantly she reprimanded me saying those useless bunch of BPO guys had sent me on a wild goose hunt since the branch could do nothing about it. She raised her hand gesturing me to keep my mouth firmly shut. She gave me the brief on the woes of these hi tech gadgets and the network. she gave me another number to register the "complaint". As I told her that it was then only prudent that they allow me to draw the money from my account since more than five withdrawals were not permitted in the ATM and I am being prevented from using my own money which was against natural justice. She quoted the bank rules as one would quote the scriptures and I was turned back with a "next".

Wondering how the bank could be so ungrateful in giving me low interest, charging me service charges etc for using my own money in a SB account I made my way to the passbook counter. There was none to be seen. The printer was in its place with a cardboard sign which read as under:

PRINTER OUT OF ORDER

PLEASE BARE WITH US

Wish I was tech savvy and could have captured this memorable piece on a cellphone camera and posted in on this site for posterity. People many years down the line would reckon how forthcoming we were. We could have a baring party at a bank. Let me assure you the above is not my typographical error but reproduced as it was seen. Laughter they say is the best medicine. I laughed my way out of the bank, its issues and problems realising that I was too primitive in this highly advanced world.